You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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