Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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