I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
