Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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