Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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