The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
