Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
