Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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