Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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