Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
