ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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