I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
