i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
