there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
