These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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