I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
