You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
