OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
