dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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