I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
