Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
