So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
