that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
