Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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