i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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