I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
