he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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