none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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