turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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