if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
