I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
