Screwed.edu
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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