I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
