Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
