you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I love you. Go after that dick
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
