he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
