I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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