Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
