Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I touched a dick in church today
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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