her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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