Life is so much better after having sex.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
