dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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