is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
