I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
