You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Randomize
