Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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