we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
