Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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