I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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