no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
