So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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