Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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