someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
