I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
